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BP Unveils Ingenious Causation Test to Determine Oil Spill Claimant Eligibility

3 comments

Today British Petroleum announced a breakthrough in the company’s noble effort to compensate business owners legitimately harmed as a result of the Deepwater Horizon “Incident.”

As part of BP’s Commitment to the Gulf, the oil major’s crack team of attorneys and financial gurus explains in this short video the simple process a claimant should employ to determine if indeed his or her business suffered a loss that is traceable to the “Incident.”

To BP’s credit, it has given great comfort to the deceased victims’ families and company officials have worked long and hard to ensure that those legitimately harmed by the spill will receive prompt and generous payments. The causation tool described in this video will go a long way toward fulfilling that lofty goal.

Be warned though, business owners attempting to exploit BP’s largess by filing claims when they were clearly not impacted by the “Incident” will be exposed as frauds after their profit and loss statements are subjected to BP’s algorithmic invention.

BP is Committed to the Gulf. And BP is Committed to America.

Sign our petition to help protect BP.

3 Comments

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  1. stvjns daughs says:
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    Since your impression of BP is that they are ingenius and noble, it is not surprising that you would attempt to refocus the attention of the affected population. I’m sure some people are pleased at your work.

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    I think the satirical nature of this is pretty obvious. It is hard to laugh, though, when we see activist federal judges allowing BP to get away with blatant fraud.

  3. Tom Young says:
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    Armi, let’s give the 5th Circuit the benefit of the doubt re judicial activism. I am hopeful that the appellate court’s remand re causation is more about making sure Judge Barbier thoroughly evaluates the causation issue by crossing all t’s and dotting all i’s than it is about changing the unambiguous terms of the Settlement Agreement that all parties negotiated.

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